Thursday, March 09, 2006

from my past journal (pre-blog days) entries

THE COUP THAT SAVED ME (in a way that i never expected)

July 26, 2003

It was a day after my post birthday party but it was not exactly the best spill over day in years (usually I am still giddy the next day from all the partying the night before). For my 21^st birthday, an unexpected problem (I’d rather not talk about) came up that spoiled my day. I felt like shouting: Give me a break!

I tried my best to hide my frustration by making this day the busiest possible. I had a business meeting in the morning. I met up with my best friend (to whom I couldn’t help but rant frantically) for lunch. We watched a UAAP game with my other friends where I tried my best to cheer in my normal ecstatic mode but failed miserably. Even after the victory of Ateneo, I still felt like it was my ultimate low.

After the game, I had to rush underneath the pouring rain to get to the car, head to the dorm, and prepare for the one thing I’ve been looking forward the entire week: the MEG party. First I had to beat EDSA traffic to pick up my friend at her condo in Rockwell before finally arriving just in time for the party at Eastwood where we will be meeting with another friend we haven’t seen in a long time. The first person I saw at the party was my big time crush from work. I didn’t know if I should thank God for that wonderful coincidence or start cursing because I look like a wreck from all of the worries that were running in my head. Damn!

Being with my friends made me forget the bad day still unfolding before me. It was also a refreshing delight to have met people I’ve been emailing and talking to over the phone but never got to meet in person until that evening. I even had the chance to have bumped into Lucky Manzano. I also saw an old friend who volunteered to say she was spying (she works for another teen magazine).

I decided to sleepover my friend’s place at Rockwell because the news said that rebel soldiers were plotting a coup and their operations base is somewhere near Ayala where my condo was.

No day can ever be worst than this. Tomorrow would surely be a better day.

July 27, 2003

I woke up very early in the morning to the sound of the AM radio blaring beside me. Apparently, I tried to know what’s happening but I was too immersed in my personal worries that I just slept it all off after being dropped off at Quezon City just this morning because they closed Ayala Avenue.

So from ranting over a bad day yesterday, I am now on to analyzing what’s happening in Makati at that very moment. I continued listening to the radio and only transferred to the TV room when it was announced that the rebel soldiers would be releasing a statement. So there I was, staring at the TV, struck by what these young idealistic officers were saying. Afterwards, I felt so confused. Though the allegations of the rebel soldiers sounded outrageous, it sounded possible.

It is sad to note that we worry so much about petty things while other people have bigger problems. The soldiers, not just the mutineers, serve the country by putting their lives on the line and yet they do not get enough salary to provide themselves with their basic needs while we complain about our own allowance because we do not have enough extra money for shopping. The day of the coup, we incessantly complained because we could not pass by Ayala Avenue and get to our favorite malls and yet there were those soldiers who were not even sure if they will be able to come out of Oakwood alive.

We know that whatever social ills are happening around us, we contribute to it. It is not so much of what we do to other people but more of how we live our lives. Most of us are concerned with superficial things, which, I may say are not sinful if only all of us can eat three times a day, have clothes to cover our bodies and shelter to protect us from the raging heat of the sun and the strength of the winds and pouring rain. Sadly, there will always be those who are over privileged and under privileged. Even those just privileged enough are more inclined to being under privileged. Some of my friends say that sometimes that becomes the logic behind arranged marriages or behind marriages between rich people. It is not because they want to be rich by themselves but rather because it is practical to find a husband who you know can pay for your “luho” than fight over money with your husband and then be branded as “matapobre.”

I think the easiest way to encourage us to at least try to live simply is to open our eyes and see reality unfold before our eyes. It does not have to take another coup to wake us up. Let us look beyond our comfort zones and don’t just stare at what we might see but look more closely. I am still struggling to live simply as I still worry over where to go the next time I go out with my friends but the stark contrast of my previous journal entry from the one I am writing now is a sign that I am willing to start somewhere.

The coup saved my life because instead of wallowing in despair over that seemingly small problem that left me hating yesterday, I have come to realize that life is more than just living rather it is about living your life to the fullest. Indeed, after everything I have learned, this truly was a better day.

(3:08 PM) ♥ tal

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